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ENCOURAGE RESTORE TRANSFORM
Blog
Dreams Fullfilled Beyond Adversity
Posted on March 28, 2020 at 1:02 PM |
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Dreams Fulfilled Beyond Adversity The following is a
true story . . . In the 3
grade, a young boy’s teacher told his parents that their son was not “just a
slow reader,” but that he had a reading disorder. It was at that moment that
the mother understood why her son would sit for hours in tears trying to learn
ten vocabulary words. The parents hired a
reading specialist who worked with him and taught him some tools to improve his
reading ability. Even with these helpful tools, the specialist told the parents
that he would never be able to go to a four-year university
because it would be too difficult and too fast paced for him. However, this young
boy was full of life, youthfulness, and his innocence did not know defeat. His mother and father
did not accept this “disorder” prognosis as defeat. They continued to inspire, encourage, and
instill confidence that he could accomplish anything he set his heart and mind
to. The day came when he decided he
wanted to go to Texas A&M University in College Station, Texas. His reading “disorder” was his adversity, but he made the choice to
not let it defeat him. He believed in himself and had a dream in his heart. Not only did he achieve a degree in civil
engineering, but he also went on to obtain an MBA from Rice University, where
he graduated with honors. Life gave him adversity, but he had a dream.
He did not allow this adversity
to defeat him. Although he was faced with challenges
along the way, he was determined, driven, and successful by taking one step at
a time. He did not allow adversity to win. The story I write
about is that of my oldest son. I am his mother! I tell you this story to inspire you to
fulfill your dreams and be the person that encourages others to fulfill their
dreams. 2017 is a year of rebirth towards our new desires and those desires
that we think are lost . . . a new dream, a new hope, a new beginning. Adversity works against our dreams. The definition of adversity is misfortune, trouble, difficulty, hardship, distress,
disaster, tribulation, and trauma. Adversity attempts to prevent our
desires, hopes, and dreams from being fulfilled. Do we welcome adversity? Of course not. Sometimes the negative aspects of adversity can be utilized to drive us
towards our dreams. Inspiration of a
dream is beautiful and prevents us from living a dull, mundane life. Physical
endeavors and boundaries would not be improved; challenges and intellectual
accomplishments would not be met. Life would be systematic with little change
and growth in human expansion physically, intellectually, and spiritually. It is our dreams and visions that drive us to
live life to the fullest. What are your dreams
for 2017? A few basic steps to begin
fulfilling both new and old dreams:
Let go of what is
already behind you. The day is before
you. Go after your dreams. He is a good good
Father. |
Grandparents as Positive Role Models
Posted on March 28, 2020 at 1:00 PM |
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GRANDPARENTS
AS POSITIVE ROLE MODELS I’m writing this article not only from a psychological
perspective, but also as a personal perspective. I am grandmother to four
grandchildren and five step-grandchildren, all unique and special. I can honestly
say the changing of the guard (going from parenting to grandparenting) takes on
a new perspective which is rewarding, fun and interactive, and sometimes
challenging trying to provide the needed support and relief for parents. I thought it would be interesting to ask my
husband what his thoughts are concerning the influence of a grandparent as a
positive role model in today’s society. Jokingly his response was something
like “Grandparent’s role is to help their grandchildren create new mischief and
have fun doing it!” This approach is an actual psychological style of
grandparenting. If you’re that kind of grandparent, you are what is called the
“fun-seeking” grandparent. The fun
grandparent only wants to make sure grandchildren have fun! Reinforcing
parental structure and teachable moments is not top priority with fun-seeking
style of grandparenting. Although my husband was joking, this is a common
approach today. By the way, my husband thought that idea was funny and he is
definitely a fun grandparent, however he is very much a grandparent who
interacts, encourages, and is an extension of family structure reinforcing what
parents want and will allow children to do when they visit. When grandparents
keep a balance between being the fun grandparent and the formal grandparent,
they are an extension of the parental structure. These two approaches combined
enhance greater emotional support and cohesiveness for the family. The “formal
approach” or style is showing strong interest in their grandchildren, leave
parenting to grandchildren’s parents and are careful not to give uninvited
advice. Key to being a grandparent who reinforces the structure of the
family unit is communication with parents, and mutual respect. Parents should
initiate the communication with grandparents letting them know what their expectations
are while grandchildren are in the care of their grandparent. The expectation
of a grandparent is then out in the open and grandparents can openly say what
they are comfortable doing or not doing. This initial open communication with
respect is a way to avoid possible future misunderstandings on expectations. Grandparents are observed and watched by little ones making
the influence tremendous and rewarding in life of a grandparent. Grandparents
teach just by spending time with their grandchildren, not ever having to
verbally teach anything. Grandparents influence the way grandchildren view the
world around them, so much so there are times children want to grow up to be
more like their grandparent than anyone else. Grandparents wear many “hats” in the family when it comes to
relationships with grandchildren and their own children. Grandparents can provide
support emotionally or physically for grandchildren and children. In today’s
society both parents typically work and the ability to rely upon a grandparent
for help in caring for physical needs and emotional needs of grandchildren is
such a stress release for the parents, at the same time rewarding for the
grandparent. Studies have shown grandparents that see their grandchildren
frequently and interact with their lives seem happier with life in their older
age and have less depression. They feel needed, wanted and a part of the family
unit. One of the strong benefits of being an interactive and available
grandparent is building relationship with grandchildren who someday may need to
talk with a loving, listening grandparent as opposed to talking with a parent.
When those special moments occur, the years of interaction as grandparent will
pay off. How important is it in today’s society to have someone who you know
loves you and wants the best for you give you sound advice who has wisdom
beyond your youth? I would say extremely valuable. To all the parents, make
time for grandchildren to know their grandparents. Grandparents, don’t be too
busy or unavailable. This is your legacy and grandchildren need your input.
Their parents need your support. Connection and cohesive loving, warm family
environments promote secure children who then turn around and give the security
and safe environment to their children. For those who are less fortunate to
have grandparents, or grandparents who for whatever reason cannot help, there
are plenty of elderly who would love to take on a supportive grandparenting
role. They probably need the family as much as you would need them! By Georgia Smith-Lyle, MA, LPC-S GPS Counseling |
Emotional Breathrough Using Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP)
Posted on March 28, 2020 at 12:59 PM |
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Emotional
Breakthrough using Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) Horses were domesticated about 5,000 years ago. That’s a long
time. They have been used in all areas of life from travel, ranch and farm work
to leisure and sporting events. Much has been learned about these majestic
animals. They are a “herd” animal as opposed to a “pack” animal like dogs or
coyotes. Because they are a herd animal, they have a basic instinct to protect
the other horses in the group and they travel in their group. When they are
threatened by a predator or detect harm, they will surround and defend the
horse(s) that are in danger. They also will draw the attention away from the
herd to themselves in order to protect the others. From these basic caring
instincts of staying together to defend at all cost, we know horses feel deeply
and have a strong sense of their surroundings. They are more aware of their
surroundings than humans and can see and hear in all directions. Their ears can
move front, side, and to the back of them for acute hearing. Their eyes are
positioned on the side of their face so they can see all around them. Their
noses are large and nostrils large so they can detect smells from far away. The
physic of a horse and the way they interact in their surroundings tells us they
are extremely sensitive to everything and anyone around them. This is why they
have gained popularity in being used for healing of trauma and other emotional
issues in the world of psychotherapy – Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP).
Horses feel the emotions of people and some horses absorb the same emotion. They
have an intuitive sense about them that is stronger than most humans. They
remember expressions on the face of people. They are highly sensitive to the
touch of a human. Many horses will observe the emotion of a person who
interacts with them. Emotions such as rejection, betrayal, fear, anxiety,
depression, grief, joy, gladness, peace are examples of what they feel. Equine
therapy is also useful for trauma (with our war veterans or those who have
suffered abuse and grief) and working through extreme fear. Leadership and team
building for businesses or groups is also another way a horse is used today.
This kind of use of horses is called Equine Assisted Learning (EAL) and many
times a licensed therapist is present along with the EAL coach to help the
process when emotions surface that need professional attention. I have used my horses for equine psychotherapy in conjunction
with traditional therapy for last two years at my ranch in Petty, Texas. I have
experienced first hand the emotional healing and breakthrough that comes
through these majestic, sensitive animals. I have worked with a family of a
single parent, and person with high anxiety, and another person who experienced
extreme grief for years from the loss of a loved one. These are only a few examples.
All situations came away with success and healing from the experience they had
with my horses. There are many places in surrounding areas that provide equine
psychotherapy. My husband and I work together providing Equine Assisted
Learning for groups and businesses as well. Equine Assisted Psychotherapy is
also extremely useful with special needs children and has proven successful. I hope you have found this article insightful and helpful.
Even though horses are majestic and usually much larger than us, we don’t need
to be afraid of them. We do need to have a respect for their large bodies and
be aware of healthy boundaries when working with them and wear the proper
shoes. Working with horses will also give you an increased awareness for the
environment around you. Spending time with a horse or a group of horses will
help you overcome your fears and encourage confidence. This happens when you
realize the horse is there to help you in whatever emotion you may be feeling.
Spending time with this incredible animal will teach you more than what this
article can convey in just a few words! Written by: Georgia Smith-Lyle, LPC-S |
Building Trust with Your Child
Posted on March 28, 2020 at 12:56 PM |
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Open
Communication with Your Child – Ages 5 to 13 Trust and dependence upon the parent or caregiver begin the
moment a child is born! As your child
grows, consistency with positive
parenting skills will set the tone for a closely connected relationship
between child and parent. By the time your child reaches school age (5 or 6
years old) they will have hopefully formed a relationship with you based on
trust. Children’s psychosocial development from the ages of five to thirteen
begins with more self-awareness, awareness of others and the world around them.
They become more inquisitive and adventurous. Their increased self-awareness
will highlight their gifts, talents and challenges. Encouragement and confidence
are very important because comparison of themselves to others will increase.
They will listen to conversations others their age (or older) will have and be
inquisitive. Some things other children talk about they will be familiar with,
while other things they will not understand. The world around them is enlarging
and so is the knowledge and awareness of several topics. Below is a list of
true questions they may be having but have not yet verbalized to you. *Mommy, am I pretty? *Daddy, am I strong? *Am I smart? *Am I fat? *Am I stupid? *Why does ______not like me? *My teacher likes _______ more than me. *I’m not very smart like ______. *Where did I come from? *I heard ________talking about sex. What does “sex” mean? *Why was I born a girl? *Why was I born a boy? *Someone likes me. Can I have a boyfriend? *I think _________is pretty and funny. Can she be my
girlfriend? *Why do _______’s parents not live together? *Will you and daddy/mommy ever get a divorce? Do you think they will come to you and talk about what they
are thinking or will another child be their first go to person? Another child will be someone they talk to
first sometimes, however if you have built a positive encouraging relationship
with them then they will come to you frequently first. If your child believes
they will disappoint or anger you, they will probably not be willing to
communicate with you unless you have shown disappointment or anger expressed
correctly. (Expressing your anger in the right way is important, i.e. without
yelling or criticizing.) Set the stage early for a healthy foundation of trust
by being open to listen, validating their feelings, never making them feel
unimportant or unintelligent, encourage instead of criticize. No matter what
your opinion may be as a parent, still be willing to listen. They will trust
your leadership and love for them far more if they feel safe to express their
thoughts. You can still say your thoughts and be the parent without demeaning
or getting angry where they are afraid to communicate with you. The positive
foundation you set when they are younger will carry you and them through the
“rocky” teenage years with less tension and more respect and understanding. Let me end with this short example. A friend of mine has a
little girl who is about eight or nine years old. Last year her daughter told
her that a girlfriend liked a little boy. Not thinking much about it and teasingly
mom commented, “well you better not go a get yourself a boyfriend” or something
to that affect. Mom was teasing her daughter and although she may not want her
to have a boyfriend at that young age, mom knows that little crushes do happen and
she is alright with that. However, mom did not realize her daughter took the
comment very serious! This year a little boy started liking her daughter and
her daughter had a little crush on him too. Mom suspected it but her daughter
wasn’t openly telling her. One day her daughter’s girlfriend told her mom that
her daughter liked this one boy but was afraid to tell her. When mom casually
asked her daughter if she liked this little boy, her daughter at first denied
it. Her mom then revealed someone told her she liked the little boy and it was
okay to tell her. Her daughter broke down crying and said “I do like him mommy
but I was afraid you would be mad at me if I told you.” This hit home to my
friend and her casual words last year in teasing stuck with her daughter and caused
her to not be open with her mom. The mom was crushed and learned a valuable
lesson about choosing words wisely, and making a safe place for her child to
talk. There are so many things children need to be able to tell
their parents. Make a safe place for them to speak their mind and ask you
questions before they go and ask others who may not give them the same safe
advice or guidance. |
Healthy Relationships: Part 1
Posted on March 23, 2018 at 5:38 PM |
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Healthy Relationships: Part 1 (pg 26 of Living Well Magazine) |
Holiday Cheer or Challenge
Posted on November 20, 2017 at 6:24 PM |
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Article written for Living Well Magazine:Holiday Cheer or Challenge The holiday seasons can be stressful and anxious. Keeping our holiday "cheer" during the season can be difficult. We have enough challenges and the holidays should be a time of happiness, joy and thankfulness. I hope you find this article helpful with a few suggestions on how to keep the "cheer" in your holiday! Enjoy and I hope you have a blessed holiday season. |
Pruning Season of Life, written for Living Well Magazine, April, 2017
Posted on May 27, 2017 at 12:58 PM |
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Pruning Season of Life by Georgia Smith Are You
In A “Pruning” Season of Life Imagine you are a tree, but not just any tree. Imagine you are
a beautiful, majestic apple tree of Washington, or a lovely orange tree which
grows in California orange country. Or would you rather be a juicy peach tree from
Georgia? No matter which tree you favor, the process of growth year by year is
similar for all fruit bearing trees. Pruning fruit trees is necessary for new
vibrant growth to occur. The definition of pruning is “trim by cutting away
dead or overgrown branches or stem, especially to increase fruitfulness and
growth; cut away; reduce the extent of something.” The pruning process does not
only prune the dead branches but also the branches that have born growth and
appear healthy. Pruning the dead branches and overgrown healthy ones are the
only way to foster a healthy root system, and abundant fruit for future years. The
pruning process typically takes place in wintertime. Human lives experience
seasons just like our beautiful trees in nature. Our seasons are more complex
of course, however, very similar. A winter season in a person’s life can
symbolize a time when life appears to not shift in the direction you have hoped
for and remains dormant. This dormancy prompts a realization that if positive
change is to occur, the process of cutting away or letting go of some things in
your life are necessary for the new growth and season to spring forth. This
season can be uncomfortable and feel as though you are on an adventure of
uncharted territory…a place where you have never gone before. Your knowledge of what this new life change will
look like might be clear or many variables still yet to be revealed. You are definitely in a pruning season if
this sounds familiar! Or maybe you have walked this way a few times in your
life, and you know exactly what “pruning season” of life means. Letting go of
what has been familiar and those things which brought years of security may
need sorting through to determine what to take with you and what to leave
behind. Embrace the process of change through the pruning season of your life,
looking ahead for the new vision, and taking inventory of those things in your
life that need pruning to make room for the new. We all know life is a journey,
but can you make it an “adventure” if faced with new opportunities? Don’t let
the wintertime of life fool you into thinking everything will remain the same.
It is this season of life that can bring the greatest changes and growth if you
allow the uncomfortable process of pruning to occur. Do you have a direction or new vision you want to embrace? Are you in a dormant, wintertime season of your life? Are you willing to take an inventory of all the changes which
need to occur? Will you say yes to the pruning process by changing or letting
go of some things to embrace the new direction? If your answers are “yes” to all of the above, you are in for a
journey full of adventure. Embrace the change, acknowledge any fear of change,
and don’t be paralyzed by fear. Be confident in the new growth and look forward
to a positive outcome. Georgia Smith-Lyle, MA, LPC-S |
Nutrients Affect on Emotinal Wellbeing and the Brain
Posted on January 28, 2017 at 2:00 AM |
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Nutrients Affect on Emotional
Wellbeing and the Brain In 2012 I
attended a continuing education course on the affects of specific nutrients in
relation to mental health and brain functions. I was pleasantly surprised to
see those who attended were varied in professions from doctors, nurses,
trainers, massage therapist, chiropractors and mental health counselors like
me. My first impression was there must be factual and scientific evidence to
support this topic or there would not be such a wide array of professions
(those professions who help people with their physical and emotional problems
daily). I was ready to learn as much as I could. What I will attempt to do is convey
briefly some of the valuable information I absorbed in six hours of this course.
I hope it will be as eye opening and life changing for you as it was for me. If
nothing else, I hope you gain such an interest that you do further study and
research which will help you and others around you. As a mental
health counselor, I counsel many people with varied issues. I am convinced
healthy emotional wellness is maintained by a healthy balance of good
nutrition, exercise, and emotional healing and stability. Our physical body
interacts and affects our emotional stability and vice versa. Both are affected
by the other and if one is off balance, the other will be affected negatively.
Exercise and good nutrition will help maintain the proper level and function of
your neurotransmitters, which are chemicals released allowing signals to be
passed from one neuron to the next. Memory, appetite, mental function, mood,
movement and the wake-sleep cycle are all nerve functions which
neurotransmitters regulate. The specific neurotransmitters I want to mention
are serotonin, dopamine, endorphin, and norepinephrine. With the proper nutrients and exercise,
neurotransmitters will function at the capacity they were created to function
and will directly affect our emotional wellness. Nutrients high in B vitamins,
vitamin C and E, iron, selenium and magnesium are involved in production of
neurotransmitters. Moods are regulated by serotonin, therefore it is important
to eat food which support the balance of
serotonin such as nuts, milk, dates, papayas, and bananas. Dopamine
production helps regulate the flow of information in the brain, playing a role
in memory, attention and problem solving. Dopamine is associated with reward
mechanisms which involves things that “feel good.” Dopamine is stored in nerve
cells and requires a protein-rich meal. With the help of vitamin C, dopamine is
then converted to norepinephrine causing increased feelings of alertness and
energy. Endorphins are always associated with “happy” state of mind. Endorphins
are sometimes described as morphine-like neurotransmitters and are produced
through moderately intense physical activity including biking, running,
swimming, or yoga. Neurotransmitters
play such an important role and healthy emotional state of mind and are
maintained through the proper nutrients and exercise. Although several
disorders were discussed during the course and the affects certain nutrients have
on helping to improve them, anxiety is the one I would like to concentrate on
in this article. Others mentioned were mood disorders, depression, ADHD, and Alzheimer’s.
Allergies, food cravings, stress related eating and appetite, sleep and
awareness were some physical issues discussed and what nutrients were needed to
help regulate them. Anxiety
affects close to 40 million people in the United States. Anxiety is a fear
based manifestation of a deeper problem, increasing acute awareness of
potential threats, or heightened fear of past events that lay dormant in the
subconscious upon which a present event triggers the emotion of fear/anxiety to
surface. People with anxiety most likely have a shortage of the neurotransmitter serotonin during stress.
Anxiety of course causes a negative mood and sometimes a craving for sweets. A
healthy nutritional approach to anxiety would include supplementation with
magnesium, passionflower, and L-theanine (amino acid) found in tea (increases
brain dopamine and alpha-wave activity). A healthy physical approach would
include moderate but regular exercise which will regulate your
neurotransmitters (particularly produce dopamine and endorphins). The intense build
up of stress (cortisol) from anxiety needs a physical release as well as an
emotional release. Remember balance is the key to maintaining healthy emotional
stability; balance with good nutrition, exercise and processing of emotions in
a healthy way! Georgia
Smith is in private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state
of Texas. She provides counseling for children, adolescents, adults, marriage
and family in the Dallas area. She is also the mother of three grown children,
two daughter-in-laws and a grandson who also reside in Texas. Georgia has a BA
degree in Economics from the University of North Texas and an MA degree in
Counseling from Amberton University. As an author and counselor, she has a
passion for writing, counseling, and public speaking to encourage others to
become all they were created to be. She has written and published one book
called You Are My Beloved, Now Believe It, with a supplemental devotional study
guide. She is starting her second book called Mercy Falls Like Rain, which she
hopes to have finished by Spring of 2016. |
Mercy Falls Like Rain
Posted on January 28, 2017 at 1:16 AM |
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Mercy Falls Like Rain
Grace and Mercy have Kissed “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with
which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive
together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up
together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ
Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of
His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:4-7
Christ pours out His mercy over and over again, strengthening us for
the race set before us. The strength to overcome is His unstoppable
grace. Because of His mercy, we have been given His grace. They are
intertwined and woven together working always for our benefit, even when
we do not realize they are at work. Think of mercy and grace’s
interaction together in comparison to a sailboat. A sailboat cannot sail
without the wind. The sailboat is at the mercy of the wind. But without
the actual sail being hoisted in the right position and turned at the
perfect angle, the sailboat has little strength which is the grace.
Mercy and grace always work together. In fact, mercy propels us to seek
the grace (strength) to continue. Mercy brings encouragement where there
has been devastation. Mercy brings restoration and life. Why would we
want to give up on life and God’s love when we continuously see His
mercy poured over us. His mercy gives jump start to His incredible grace
(strength).
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